Inside my ruggedly handsome shell of a body, beneath the hairy (insert body area here) and the layers of thick protection from the winter cold, a.k.a. fuel for that time I can’t get to the store for months, a.k.a. more bounce to the ounce, a.k.a. more Jeffrey to go around … Inside and beneath it all is a mind that has always been embarrassed by his weight and a heart that feels it.
I stopped swimming at public pools before my teens. I rarely went in the ocean. Mainly because I would make such a great meal for a family of sharks, but there was also the taking off the shirt in public thing. I hate even the thought of using open public showers or locker rooms. Shirts and skins basketball game. Don’t even …
Describing it as anxiety may be putting it mildly.
I’ve told you before how it started with me. Now at 50 years old and looking for work, I feel it even more. Is a potential employer going to look at me and see a hard worker? A smart man who can set his mind to something and get it done? A person who can meet deadlines and work with others to do it?
Or are they going to see a lazy, overweight man who doesn’t even have it in him to maintain his own fitness to any kind of reasonable degree?
That’s my latest anxiety, folks. And I know I’m not alone in thinking that way. Don’t believe me? Google it. I did.
The quote below is the third item in a list of items in a Reader’s Digest article “What HR People Won’t Tell You About the Job Interview,” by Ian Landau.
“Is it harder to get the job if you’re fat? Absolutely. Hiring managers make quick judgments based on stereotypes. They’re just following George Clooney’s character in Up in the Air, who said ‘I stereotype. It’s faster.’” –Suzanne Lucas, a former HR executive and the Evil HR Lady on bnet.com
So I’ve finally decided to do something about it. This week I started tracking what I eat and drink, how much and when. I’m using My Fitness Pal, as had been suggested to me, as a guide. And I have behind-the-scene teammates and Facebook friends and followers to lean on for support.
I’ve eliminated, on a temporary basis, alcohol and soda from my diet. No bread and pasta for now. Basically I’m detoxing my body after two months of experimenting daily with new ways to create cheese, pasta and meat dishes for breakfast lunch and dinner and testing new Bourbons and beers for their self-medicating properties.
Today, one week from my next cardiologist appointment, I called my doctor and explained I had a meltdown and believed I had put on double digits in pounds since my last visit and asked if I could stop in and use her scale. The nurse, who knew my whole situation, said sure and told me when there were no appointments. I was welcome to come in then and she would weigh me.
She also let me video it so I could share it with you.
This may be the first time more than three people in this world outside of doctors know my weight.
Determined to do something about it? More than ever.
A week from today (1/18/2017) we will find out if this is working as I get weighed again at my appointment. Follow along if you’d like.
Not every blog post or column here will be about my weight. But the struggle is a part of my life. You’re welcome to come along and see what else it entails ….